What I Made: Cheesy Cauliflower Breadsticks and Pizza

For the last few months (or years, if we include starts, stops, failures, etc.), I’ve been trying to overhaul my diet. As part of my mission to get rid of my headaches, I’d been going to a chiropractor and acupuncturist (for cupping). I’ve noticed some improvements with lower back pain as a result of the chiropractor, but it’s too hard to say whether it’s helped with my headaches. Cupping seemed to help with the headaches initially, but then everything went back to normal. Ugh.

As part of my work with my acupuncturist, she asked me to track my diet, just in case she noticed any food triggers. She didn’t, but what she did notice was that I had a horrible diet abundant in processed foods. I believe her exact words were, “You aren’t getting any nutrients. Like zero. Zero nutrients.”

This wasn’t a shock to me at all. But I’m a people-pleaser and overachiever, so I decided to actually work on my diet (in order to please my acupuncturist). I started knocking out the processed foods and adding vegetables instead. I’m not pretending that I’ve eliminated all processed foods from my diet, but it’s considerably less than what it used to be.

My acupuncturist’s next goal for me was to go gluten-free. Even though I don’t have celiac disease, she said there’s a chance that I could still be experiencing an adverse reaction to gluten, and that could be contributing to my headaches.

This terrified me. I LOVE gluten. OK, not the actual gluten, but basically all the foods that contain gluten: pasta, bread (in all its forms), cereal, etc. As much as I wanted to please my acupuncturist, it just felt too overwhelming to me. I tried to cut it in most parts of my diet, but couldn’t commit to 100%. And what I’ve learned is that if you aren’t 100%, it’s not really doing anything to help.

Well, I mean it is cutting a lot of calories from your diet — what I mean is that you won’t know the benefits of being gluten-free unless you are 100% gluten-free for a month. Somehow a month sounds like so much time!

But what’s ridiculous to me is that I was willing to go to doctors and get whatever prescriptions made up of who knows what that would do who knows what to my body, rather than just make better food choices that would possibly relieve me of a headache pain while also just making me healthier in general. Even though I was cognitively aware of this, changing my diet sounded so much harder than popping a pill or two.

Then I read the book Wheat Belly, written by a Wisconsin doctor, William Davis. Aspects of the book were new pieces of information to me, and obviously I can’t verify that everything is factual, but what it said made sense to me. And more importantly, it was compelling enough to make me want to really change my diet.

So I’ve started to cut wheat from my diet. I’m not 100% there yet, but probably somewhere between 60 and 70 percent. I’m eating gluten-free cereals for breakfast (eventually I’d like to stop eating cereal entirely, but I can’t get there yet). I’m substituting all my sandwich bread with lettuce. Are one or two big pieces of lettuce as tasty as two pieces of bread? Not exactly, but honestly, I’m focusing on filling the ‘sandwich’ with really good stuff, so the lack of a bun hasn’t been that horrible. And when I remind myself that I’m saving approximately 200 calories by skipping the bread, I’m super happy with myself.

Pizza is one of my favorite foods. I tried a gluten-free frozen pizza from Target a few weeks ago that was OK…but not that great, and not worth the price (for me). I’ve seen cauliflower pizza crusts on Pinterest, but had never tried it.

That’s a lie. I bought cauliflower once in order to try it, but never did it and ended up throwing a rotting head of cauliflower in the trash.

But today I decided to do it. I used the recipe on the blog Jo Cooks for cheesy cauliflower breadsticks. This made a huge batch, so I’d recommend halving it if you’re trying it for the first time.

Cheesy Cauliflower Cheesesticks | What Lindsey Likes

Was it as good as gluten-full pizza? No. But it did turn out better than I expected. Worse than I had hoped, but better than I expected. I made one set of cheesesticks and one pepperoni pizza. You’ll notice I didn’t include any sauce on the pizza — I was afraid it would make the crust mega mushy. So I just dipped the pizza in a side of sauce, like I did for the cheesesticks.

Cauliflower Pepperoni Pizza | What Lindsey Likes

Will I make this again? Eh, I don’t know. It was a lot of work for this lazy girl: Wash the cauliflower, chop it up, put it in a food processor/blender to really pulverize it, steam it in the microwave for 10 minutes, mix it with a crap-town of cheese and other ingredients, etc. The amount of money I spent on cheese alone for this recipe was probably close to the cost (or more expensive than) a frozen pizza. I realize a frozen pizza has gluten, and that’s the whole reason for making this, but it was a lot of work and not cheap…so I’d probably look into other recipes in case there’s an easier/cheaper version.


What I’ve Learned: Must. Take. Notes.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. All of the books I’ve read in the last 6 weeks have been about human behavior. I’m fascinated by how each of us makes decisions. Mostly because I like giving advice — solicited or in-solicited. I happen to think I’m really good at it, but all of you would be better judges of that since you’ve at least read some of my advice here. I love analyzing choices, whether they’re mine or yours, and thinking through all the potential consequences of each choice. I like to assess my own thought process, especially my hesitations or rationalizations around my choices, and then post-decision, see which thoughts were right or wrong so I can either avoid or replicate making decisions based on a certain feeling.

Reading with Digger | What Lindsey Likes

I’ve read three books so far, all of which have been awesome. I went through the first two relatively quickly and thought after finishing them, “Wow, those were good, but if someone asked me for a few of the key points, I’d be at a loss.”

I’ve had this same experience with meetings or situations at work. Even when I’m truly interested in what I’m hearing, I’m most likely going to forget big points of what I experience. Especially if it’s a totally new concept for me, and most of community health concepts are (at work), as are a lot of the behavioral economics concepts I’ve been reading about.

When I was about a third of the way through my most recent book, I stared at the big bold letters that read Chapter 6. I knew I’d read a TON of interesting information up to that point, but I felt like I couldn’t confidently explain it to anyone if someone had asked. So, I decided to start from the beginning, this time taking notes of all the interesting concepts, along with notes that applied the concept to something in real life, usually a work situation, but sometimes my personal behavior, especially in regard to working out, eating healthy or cleaning my house.

Now that I have my notes, I feel a million times better about how I’ve spent my time. Not only can I go back and reference something, but I actually think the concepts are more ingrained in my brain because I read them, wrote them and read them again.

Notetaking | What Lindsey Likes

I actually learned this lesson at work a long time ago, yet clearly I didn’t take it as seriously as I should have. A couple years ago at a previous job, I had a boss who would ask me to do things at times that felt random. Not that his requests were random, they just came out of the blue for me — like they weren’t tied to a meeting about the specific topic or at a 1:1. Ha, most of you are probably thinking, “Oh, so he just asked you to do something like everyone else does in the real world?” Yes.

But I learned quickly that I needed to write down everything — from the specifics of his request down to the wording he was using. If I didn’t write that down, I would forget how he worded it and would have basically no recollection of the conversation the next time I looked at those notes.

I didn’t take a picture of this, but you can basically imagine me smacking myself upside my head in disbelief at my lack of a memory. Moving on.

At my current job, I have to take tons of notes in meetings in order to feel like I ‘get’ it. And I definitely have to take notes if someone comes to my desk about a request that wasn’t top of mind or even on my list of things to consider that week or month. The requests my coworkers have are totally legitimate and I’m the person they should ask, but I will 100% forget without detailed notes. I usually make them send me an email, that way I get it in their exact words (my paraphrasing of things with which I’m unfamiliar is pretty horrible) and, more importantly, I have a record of it.

I took detailed notes all through high school and college too, so again, none of this is new behavior, really. It’s more about just accepting — from the beginning — that I will not retain anything without notes.

All of that being said, there are certain times where my memory is crazy good. I remember birthdays for tons of people who I either haven’t talked to in decades or who are spouses of my best friends. Remembering their birthdays is not at all critical to my friendships so I have no idea why those dates stay in my mind. I remember most of my friends’ wedding anniversaries. I remember phone numbers. I can almost always tell Dan where he last had his wallet, keys or cell phone. If I’m missing a tube of chapstick, I can remember which purse or pocket it’s in. I’m sure there is some kind of obvious explanation for this. Maybe this isn’t special — maybe all of you can already do this, PLUS remember people’s requests of you at work. Either way, I will try to read a book about it and take notes so that I remember the answer and can tell you about it later.

Anyway, I’m LOVING these books. In case you’re interested in behavioral economics or human behavior, here are the books I’ve finished (or am about to start):

What I'm Reading | What Lindsey Likes

Here are the details about my fabulous reading/note-taking attire. My sweatshirt is from Express. It’s super comfortable and lightweight. The sequins on the front are reversible — one side is a combo of grey and pale pink; the other side is gold. I don’t know how to clearly describe this in writing, but I’ll try: If you move your hands up the front of the shirt, the sequins turn gold; if you move your hands down the front of the shirt, the sequins told grey and pink. My pants are a pair of lounge capris from Gap Body that I bought last Christmas for like $5. They are crazy comfortable! The adorable fur-ball next to me is my maltipoo Digger.

When I was taking these photos, I realized how pathetic it was that Dan and I don’t have a headboard. I have another post coming later this week or early next week all about that and why I think it’s a sign that I haven’t fully reached adulthood.

What I Love: Me Time

I’ve had the house to myself this week while Dan is on a work trip in California. While I love spending time with him and appreciate his presence… I am absolutely LOVING my time alone this week.

That makes me sound like a horrible girlfriend. #sorrynotsorry

When Dan is home, I typically am the one responsible for dinner. Dan doesn’t put any kind of pressure on me to cook — it’s just a pressure I (like maybe a lot of women?) put on myself. Dan has done tons of work to our house to make it more awesome than it was when we moved in. My contribution to those efforts have mostly been to stay out of the way and to handle some of the house chores, like cooking, cleaning and dishes. I swear that Dan will never stop finding projects to do solely so that he won’t ever have to do dishes. Oh well.

Anyway. When Dan is home, I feel pressured to come up with some kind of meal. As you might remember from my old blog, my favorite foods for dinner were items like spiral-shaped mac and cheese, frozen pizza and cold cereal. While I’ve sort of gotten over the hold the cheese-covered spiral-shaped pasta had over me, I still love cereal. I eat it every single morning for breakfast, and actually get oddly excited when I eat it for dinner.

“Lindsey, what kind of cereal could taste so good that it’s something you get excited about?” you might be asking.

Well, it’s actually not about the taste at all. It’s 100% about the convenience. One thing I hate about cooking is the amount of time that goes into it. Sometimes I just want to eat NOW. A large bowl of cereal satisfies that wish. The most time-consuming step for a cereal dinner is trying to open the plastic zipped bag (I eat the bagged Malt-O-Meal brand cereals and LOVE them!) and getting it zipped shut when I’m done.

When Dan is home, I feel really horrible if I tell him I just want a bowl of cereal, because that means he’s gotta figure out something for himself on his own. Now, Dan is an adult who is fully capable of fixing himself a meal, but that societal pressure comes down on me and I just feel horrible. So no cereal for me.

But this week I was able to eat cereal for dinner guilt-free.

Aside from food choices, there have been a few other awesome perks to having the house to myself. One of which was deciding what to watch on television. Dan and I recently became obsessed with Game of Thrones. My brother was awesome enough to loan us the first few seasons on DVD so we could catch up. Each episode is about an hour long, and  it’s nearly impossible for Dan and I to watch only one episode. So I’d come home from work, we’d eat some fabulous meal that I had cooked, then we’d watch almost three hours of Game of Thrones. Three hours!! I didn’t do any laundry. I didn’t unload the dishwasher. I couldn’t edit photos for my blog. All because I didn’t want to miss a single detail of the show.

Since Dan is gone, I’m taking a break from all of our regular shows (Mad Men too) and watching whatever I want. I watched a couple episodes of the HGTV show Property Brothers on Netflix, but I’ve mostly been listening to podcasts instead. I realize I’m one of the last people to start listening to podcasts…and I’m obsessed! More on that later.

If Dan were home, I wouldn’t be able to listen to a podcast because it would feel weird sitting on my chair with my headphones in listening to my iPad while he’s watching something on TV. Maybe I’ll get over this problem, but for now it feels weird. I don’t have a long enough commute to listen to podcasts while I’m driving, so I’ll just have to find other opportunities, I guess.

Since he’s been gone and I’m not glued to my chair watching Game of Thrones or Mad Men, I’m able to do load after load of laundry. I even spent nearly an hour hand-washing dishes while listening to a podcast. An hour! Hand-washing! Who am I? I cleaned one bathroom on Monday night and another last night. It’s amazing.

Tonight is my last night to myself. I’m considering just relaxing in my chair the entire time, but I have one last load of laundry and a few cereal bowls to wash, so I assume that’s how I’ll spend my evening instead. And I couldn’t be more excited!

I’m confident I’ll go back to my lazy, dish-washing-hating, laundry-doing-procrastinator self really soon.

Since I want to include photos with this post but think a bowl of cereal would be pretty weird, I’m adding pics of Digger on a walk last weekend.

digger the maltipoo | whatlindseylikes

digger the maltipoo | whatlindseylikes

I like this picture mostly because you get to see Dan’s snazzy shoes.

digger the maltipoo | whatlindseylikes

Life Last Month: The ATL and San Diego

I’m not much of a traveler, so you can imagine my excitement when I had two trips in one month! Not only did I get to practice my carry-on packing skills, but I also got to visit my favorite brother and some zoo animals.

lindsey travels to atlanta | whatlindseylikes

When I planned my trip to Atlanta, I really, really expected that I’d be escaping the Minnesota cold and dreary for a sizzlin’ Hotlanta. No such luck. It was actually colder and drearier (who knew that was a word?) in Atlanta, unfortunately for me. And all of Georgia and its surrounding area. My brother and I tried to plan a couple back-up locales if the Atlanta weather sucked — Nashville, Savannah and Destin (Florida). The weather sucked everywhere within a five-hour radius of Atlanta. So instead of touring a sunny southern city of some kind, we toured a nearby mall and a muddy park, then watched hours upon hours of Game of Thrones.

I want to talk about that show really quickly. I had seen one episode a few years ago with my brother and thought it was an interesting show, but didn’t have the time to keep watching. The grossest of gross weather conditions in Atlanta gave me plenty of time to watch from the very beginning, though. And thankfully my brother has the DVDs. I’m HOOKED. Now I understand why the rest of the world is obsessed with the show. My brother loaned me the DVDs for the rest of the seasons, so I came home and spread the addiction to Dan, and we’ve wasted so many hours the last two weeks watching the show. Last week was the least productive week of my life. I’ve accomplished more when I’ve had the flu than I did when I had seasons two and three of Game of Thrones.

OK, back to the trip. Here I am at the muddy park. Typically this place is beautiful — it’s Piedmont Park. It actually was really pretty, but the day was just dreary, so…

lindsey travels to atlanta | whatlindseylikes

After an hour of dodging puddles and muddy sidewalks, we took a trip to the CDC’s main campus. My brother works for the CDC, although not technically at this location, but I wanted a photo with me in front of the CDC sign. Mission accomplished.

lindsey travels to atlanta | whatlindseylikes

After those two stops, we went back to my brother’s place and watched hours of Game of Thrones. I should have taken a photo of myself lazily sitting on the couch since that would have been the most representative of the trip. My poor brother had to keep pausing the DVD in order to explain the back story.

lindsey travels to atlanta | whatlindseylikes

On my last day in Atlanta, the rain clouds were nowhere to be seen and the sun was shining. We walked around Oglethorpe University for a bit, then made our way toward the airport. While the weather was not at all cooperative for the majority of the trip, it was so great seeing my brother.

Less than two weeks later, I was in the airport again for a work trip to San Diego. Unlike Atlanta, the weather in San Diego was beyond amazing. The hotel where I stayed had beautiful views.

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

My hotel was also walking distance to the USS Midway — it was so cool! There was actually a social event happening my first night for all attendees for the conference I was attending, but I’m too introverted to go somewhere alone, so I stayed in my hotel to watch HGTV. Livin’ the dream!

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

I had some free time before the conference started on my first day in San Diego, so I took a bus and headed to the San Diego Zoo.

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikesA few of my friends and coworkers wanted to hear all about the delicious restaurants I went to while in San Diego. Unfortunately, I’m really unadventurous, so here are the highlights of my meals: over-priced room-service French toast and Cheerios with a fork.

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikesOn my last night in San Diego, I took a stroll along the harbor to watch the sun set. Such a beautiful place.

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

The best thing about traveling alone is you can do anything you want and go anywhere you want. The worst thing is that you arrive home with basically zero photos of yourself at all the awesome places you went. Oh well. I managed to take this selfie. Of the 10 I took, this was the most-usable 🙂

lindsey travels to san diego | whatlindseylikes

Life Last Week: Toastmasters Speech

I’ve mentioned a couple times that I’m in Toastmasters — trying to turn my total inability to speak in front of groups into something passable. I had my first speech in early December. I spoke about how I made my decision about where to go to college, which was heavily influenced by the Olive Garden. Mmm, garlic breadsticks…

So far Toastmasters has been a good move for me. I’m sure that makes me a total nerd, but that’s nothing new! The repetition of having to speak in front of people — even when it’s just for roles like Timer and Ah Counter (yeah, those are actual meeting roles every week) — has been helpful. I’m trying to maximize my speaking opportunities whenever I can, like volunteering to be the group representative at work meetings. I haven’t done the best job of pushing myself when it comes to actual speeches, though, so that’s my new goal. The next Toastmasters year starts in either June or July, so my goal is to give as any speeches as possible between now and then.

Originally my second speech was scheduled for mid-March, but someone had to cancel their scheduled speech for last week’s meeting, so I jumped in. My speech chronicled my history with headaches — what medications I’ve used and what treatments are working best (cupping!).

Overall, my speech was good. I didn’t use my notes at all, which made me super proud of myself…but my conclusion super sucked. Somehow I thought that when I was giving the speech on Tuesday, a new and better conclusion would just magically come to me. That makes no sense and didn’t happen.

I’m definitely not as good as I want to be yet: I talk too fast, I haven’t figured out how to casually recover when I miss something and I move my legs around while the rest of my body stays still. I also make the same hand gestures over and over. While they’re really great hand gestures, they get a little old after five-and-a-half minutes.

One of the best things about having a blog — other than getting to write about whatever I want at any time — is that it gives me TONS of material for speeches. Well, I have yet to do a speech about my favorite makeup or new pants. But my non-fashion-y posts typically work well for some speech inspiration. I’m pretty sure my third speech will be centered around why everyone should leave anti-dancers alone.

But since I’m all about the clothes, the second most important prep for my speeches is choosing my outfit. Here’s what I wore for my last speech.

j crew factory chambray with faux leather leggings | whatlindseylikes

I got this J. Crew Factory chambray tunic in December during one of their sales-on-top-of-sales sales. I really, really love J. Crew’s tunics. They are long enough to cover my bum when I want to wear leggings, but not dress-length long. The leggings are from Target. My oatmeal cardigan is from Express. Do you like my socks?

j crew factory chambray with faux leather leggings | whatlindseylikes

I didn’t wear these socks — even though they are crazy comfortable and warm (from Gap). Instead, I wore a pair of leopard print flats.

OK, I feel better about getting something fashion-y in there.

What I Made: Last Week’s Pinterest Recipes

Newsflash: I’m not much of a cook. My first blog was all about my lack of domesticated capabilities. Making “meals” just hadn’t ever been something I did. Probably because Dan and I had different work schedules for the first half of our relationship. I was almost always cooking for myself — and spiral-shaped mac and cheese was so much easier to make than anything else.

Now that we’re on the same work schedule, I’m doing more cooking. Some weeks I’ll make up to four Pinterest recipes; some weeks it’s closer to two; some weeks it’s zero. Old habits die hard, I guess. But most weeks are in the two- to three-recipe range.

I’ll try to share each of the recipes I make and a quick review of them. Well, as quick as possible for someone as long-winded as me could manage. For an even quicker review of all of the recipes I’ve made, you can visit my Pinterest board, Food I’ve Actually Made. I typically forget how I felt about a recipe if I don’t make a note of it somewhere, so I started doing that on Pinterest. Since most of my recipes are made at night, it’s hard to take quality photos. I recommend visiting the websites where I found the recipes for drool-worthy photos!

John Legend’s Mac & Cheese: http://www.marthastewart.com/348566/john-legends-macaroni-and-cheese. I love nearly all forms of macaroni and cheese. Baking it always makes me feel like I’m slightly more sophisticated. This recipe was decent. I cut the recipe in half, so maybe that’s why it didn’t turn out quite as amazingly as I expected. There is a crap-ton of cheese in this recipe — since I halved the recipe, I used less than instructed, but I cut a little more too (if I think it’s too much cheese, that has to mean something!). I’ll consider trying it again…

Crock Pot Grape Jelly & BBQ Meatballs: http://www.iheartnaptime.net/bbq-meatballs/. These were delicious and probably the easiest recipe ever. Three ingredients; no chopping, slicing or dicing; one crock pot = one happy Lindsey. There really isn’t anything else to say.

Loaded Chicken Alfredo Gnocchi Bake: http://insidebrucrewlife.com/2014/04/loaded-chicken-alfredo-gnocchi-bake/#_a5y_p=3159743. I had really high hopes for this. It has tons of my favorite things: gnocchi, Alfredo sauce, bacon and cheese. But I hated it. Like to the point where I couldn’t even finish the small serving I dished onto my plate. It had to be the chicken I used — the last bit of a rotisserie chicken. Or maybe my Alfredo sauce was the wrong flavor. I can’t really explain how all of those awesome ingredients wouldn’t be at the top of my list for favorite foods.

I also made banana bread, but I’ve written about that before. I pretty much make banana bread every week because I convince myself on grocery runs that I will start loving bananas and will eat all of them before they go rotten. This never happens, so I always have a few that need to be baked. You’d think I’d be creative and vow to make a new banana bread recipe every week, but wow, that sounds like a lot of work. I’ll try to make a new recipe every month…that’s about as much as I can attempt.

Whew, just thinking about switching up my banana bread recipe — along with all that cooking — is making me tired. Tired enough to sit in my super comfy La-Z-Boy recliner 🙂 I’ll write more about this outfit in the next few weeks.

old navy marled mint sweater and flare jeans | whatlindseylikes

What I Hate: Being Uncomfortable

As I mentioned in my last post, I went to a wedding this past weekend. The wedding went off perfectly — everyone in the wedding looked stunning (none more so than the bride, of course). Seriously, this bride is the happiest person and is so unbelievably in love with her husband — it’s adorable. She also has one of the best laughs I’ve ever heard. Happiest person + finding the love of her life + her wedding day = lots of opportunities to hear her laugh.

Overall, I think weddings are fun: I love watching two people who are over-the-moon in love celebrate with their family/friends surrounding them. But with a wedding comes a reception, and I hate receptions.

“What?! Lindsey, how could you hate receptions?! It’s just a lot of dancing and having fun!” I’m imagining you asking.

That right there is why I hate receptions: Dancing and fun. Ha, OK, “fun” is a relative term, so it’s not that I hate fun, I just don’t associate dancing with fun. I guess the more accurate reason I hate receptions is just the dancing part. I am so unbelievably self-conscious about my dancing. I don’t know where this came from, but it’s always been a part of me. I don’t remember ever attempting to dance and make a complete fool out of myself (maybe I blocked it from my memory?). Clearly I don’t have a problem putting myself out there since I post photos of myself on this blog whether the outfit is flattering or not, and I write crazy-long posts that could be overly wordy and boring. So making a fool of myself in that way is something I’m open to. But there’s something about dancing that is positively terrifying.

To put it in perspective, I would rather give speeches in front of hundreds of people every day than to have to dance in front of anyone. (Maybe Toastmasters really is working?!)

My friends from college can certainly attest to my fear of dancing. When we went out on weekends, I was typically the one standing stiffer than a board on the dance floor while my friends enjoyed themselves to the fullest. I usually just told my friends to do their thing without me while I sat at a table. This of course would invite guys (total strangers, mind you) to my table to ask super helpful questions like, “What are you so boring and un-fun that you won’t dance?” and “Why do you have to be so uptight?” and a bunch of other things that make a self-conscious person even more self conscious. I’m sure, deep down, these people were trying to get me to understand that it doesn’t really matter if you look like a total idiot on the dance floor — no one really cares. But I totally judge people who are bad dancers, so why would I think that others aren’t doing the exact same thing?

With public speaking, I have full confidence in myself that I can eventually do really well with it. Dancing is something I’m fully confident that I’ll never be good at.

So at the wedding last night, one incredibly intoxicated guy kept trying to coerce me onto the dance floor. He definitely wasn’t hitting on me — I want to make that totally clear. I think he just wanted to help me look like I was having a good time. Unfortunately, even though his intentions may have been good, it just made me that much more defensive about not wanting to dance. Since I wasn’t drinking, I wasn’t holding anything in my hands, so I also had my arms crossed.

I totally get that crossing your arms is a major no-no when it comes to positive body language, but seriously, I didn’t know what else to do with my arms!

So my refusal to dance, coupled with my crossed arms, made me an even greater target for the drunkard.

“Why do you have to stand with you arms crossed? Why don’t you try to have a good time? Just come dance for awhile!”

Can’t we all just accept that some people hate dancing and they aren’t going to magically open up to it (at the age of 31 to someone who isn’t even a friend) if they hadn’t already opened up to it in their early 20s with super awesome and supportive friends? We all have our strengths, and being fun at a reception is just not one of mine. Making small talk at dinner? I’m your girl. Judging people about basically anything? Count me in. But receptions are just not my thing.

I should mention that Dan was never around when this guy was pestering me. I don’t think Dan would have done anything since I can clearly take care of myself (ha, in one totally defensive way after another). Dan knows the guy, and knows he was drunk out of his mind, so there wouldn’t have really been any need for Dan to step in. It was mostly a matter of coming up with anything I could say to make him leave me alone.

Oh, one girl was trying to get me to take off my cardigan and “show a little skin.” Here’s my apparently mega prude, uptight outfit (minus the snow on my shoes):

winter wedding | whatlindseylikes

I’m assuming the anti-dancing, arms crossed, fully clothed thing was sending a pretty un-fun vibe in her opinion. I feel like I was everyone’s pet project. To get her to leave me the F alone, I eventually said, “Oh, have you ever done cupping at an acupuncturist’s office? Well, I just did on Friday (which is true!) and now my back has bruises all over it, so it would look totally disgusting if I took this sweater off.” I’m sure she was thinking, “Did this chick seriously just blurt out her cupping experience?!” It was one awkward thing after another. To top it off, I’m pretty sure I threw in a line about someone making a call to domestic services if they saw my back without the story.

I can’t emphasize enough how much better I am at dinner parties than I am at actual parties.

To any of my friends whose receptions I left almost immediately after the meal: It was solely to avoid awkward situations like this. I couldn’t possibly support you or love you more than I do, I just truly hate dancing and any situation where people are going to make me feel even less fun than I already do in situations like that.

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